it sucks when you don’t really like being touched by people so you have to trust people first before you let them get close (a few people have been instant exceptions, but those are rare). So I have this horrible dilemma where I’m finally just like “fuck it I think i just want to have sex” but I have my hang-ups over being touched so I’d have to trust someone first, but I’m not sure right now if I want a relationship. I just kind of want to see what the big deal is about sex. And I don’t want to have sex with any of my friends because I don’t want to ruin relationships by making them awkward. so now i’m back to my dilemma.